YOUR LIFESTYLE MAGZINE
The police came to my front door tonight holding a picture of my wife. They said, “Is this your wife, sir?” Shocked, I answered, “Yes.” They said, “I’m afraid it looks like she’s been hit by a bus.” I said, “I know, but she has a lovely personality.”
April was explaining to her husband how much fun they’d had at the beach during her “girls day” outing. “But,” she told him, “It didn’t end all that great for me.” “Why, what happened?” he asked. “I went out to take a swim in the rough water but I didn’t go out far because the waves…
The fairy says “I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else’s job for a day.” The professor says “I’ll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?” so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all…
A doctor entered the hospital in hurry after being called in for an urgent surgery. He answered the call asap, changed his clothes and went directly to the surgery block. He found the boy’s father pacing in the hall waiting for the doctor. On seeing him, the father yelled, “Why did you take all this…
They start talking and after a few drinks the conversation shifts to cars. The Jedi living a life of austerity and frugality only has a 1991 Camry The Sith and Mando laughs at him saying he has a Bad Car. The Sith having manipulated others into giving him their wealth shows off his McClaren F1….
I STARTED A NEW JOB. MY BOSS SAID “HI, MY NAME IS REBECCA, BUT PEOPLE CALL ME BECKY”. I SAID “MY NAME IS KYLE, BUT PEOPLE CALL ME D*CK” She said: how do you get d*ck from kyle? I replied: you just ask nicely.
“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I…
There’s an elderly couple who has reached that point in life, where sex isn’t part of the itinerary anymore. One night, the wife turns to her husband and says, “Every-time one of us wants to have a bit of a slap and tickle, we just have to say, “Washing machine.” A night passes, and the…
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he…
A little boy looks at his mum at a wedding and says, “Mummy, why is the girl dressed all in white?” His mum answers, “The girls is called a bride and she is in white because she’s very happy and this is the happiest day of her life.” The boy nods and then says, “OK,…