Ted comes home blackout drunk, as he does most nights. With his eyes barely open, he misses his friend Carl in bed with his wife. He lies down and instantly passes out. Carl panics and quickly sneaks out of the house and makes his way home, hoping that Ted won’t remember anything in the morning….

Johnny wanted to have make love with a girl in his office. But she belonged to someone else… One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, “I’ll give you a 100 if you let me have lovemaking with you.” But the girl said, “NO.” Johnny said, “I’ll be fast….

A blonde guy was sitting in a bar when he spots a very pretty young woman. He advances towards her when the bartender says to him, “Don’t waste your time on that one. She’s a lesbi@n.” The blonde goes over to her anyway and says, “So which part of Lesbi@n are you from?”

A guy walks in the local br*thel, says, “I want the cheapest one you got, I don’t have much money.” The guy behind the counter says “How bout the $1.95 cent special?” The customer says “OK”, and he paid, headed to the room. When he opened the door, he found this beautiful broad spread out,…

One day a father and his ten-year-old son were on the bus, when the boy noticed a redhead with huge fronts. “Hey Pop,” the son cried, “look at those melons!” The father, a religious man proceeded to send the boy to an all male military academy, in the hope that he would get some manners….

Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat. Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, ‘Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!’ The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches.

One evening, a man gave his tipsy secretary a ride home after an office party. His wife was prone to jealousy, so he didn’t mention the incident to her. Later in the evening, he was driving his wife to a restaurant when he noticed a stiletto-heeled shoe half-hidden under the passenger seat. Gripped with terror,…

A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perked up and said, “How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!” “What a coincidence” the farmer said. “This is a special day for me, I am celebrating.” “This is a…

Lisa has a check-up with a new gynecologist. The doctor notices that his new patient is nervous. While putting on the latex gloves, he wants to put Lisa at ease and asks her if she knows how latex gloves are made. Lisa says no. The doctor says, “There is a plant in Mexico full of…