After getting all of the Popes luggage loaded into the limo the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb. “Excuse me, Your Holiness,” says the driver, “Would you please take your seat so we can leave?” “Well, to tell you the truth,” says the Pope, “they never let me drive at…

A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite. As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his trousers to his new bride. He said, “Here, put these on.” She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. “I can’t wear your…

One evening a husband and wife were in bed. The husband was reading a book, and the wife was watching TV. The husband reaches over and puts his hand in his wife’s p@nties then withdraws his hand. The wife was surprised by this and thought perhaps her husband was in the mood for a little…

A wife & husband visited a farm, they saw a bull having s*x with a cow. The wife asked the farm manager: “How many times does a bull have s*x per day?” Manager replied: “6 times or more a day”. Wife: looks at her husband and said…..”you see!!!” Then the husband asked the manager: “You…

man and a woman were approaching their 50th wedding anniversary. To celebrate, the woman decided she would cook a big dinner for her husband. Then he said they should do what they did on their wedding night, and eat at the dinner table n@ked. The woman agreed. On their anniversary night, at the table, the…

Couple were having a big argument at breakfast. He shouted at her, “You aren’t so good in bed either!” then stormed off to work. By mid-morning, he decided he’d better make amends and called home. “What took you so long to answer?” he asked. “I was in bed,” she replied. “What were you doing in…

A panda walks into a bar. He asks the bartender how he can get a little action for the night. The bartender motions to a young woman. She talks to the panda, and they go back to her place. After having s-x, the panda abruptly leaves. The next night, the woman goes to the panda’s…

Two days before my wife’s birthday I asked her what her br@ size was. “Ooh,” she said. “Thinking of getting me a new one?” I said, “No. I just wanted to see how they compared with your sister’s.”

Doctor to Nurse: Please give me anesthesia? New Joiner Nurse: But sir only one injection was available here. Doctor: We also need only one. Nurse: Sir I already have been give you. Doctor: When? Nurse: When you said Doctor: I am feeling sleepiness. Nurse: Sir i think anesthesia is start working now. Doctor: Oh my…

An old lady went to visit her dentist. When it was her turn, she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants, and raised her legs. The dentist said, “Excuse me, but I’m not a gynecologist.” “I know,” said the old lady. “I want you to take my husband’s teeth out.