A lady comes home from her doctors appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, “Why are you so happy?” The wife says, “The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old.” “Oh yeah?” quipped her husband, “What did he say about your…

An old lady went into a bar in Ibiza and saw a man with his feet propped upon a table. He had the biggest boots she’d ever seen. The old woman asked the man if it’s true what they say about men with big feet being well endowed. The man grinned and said, ‘Sure is,…

“I wonder if he’s found anything,” he says to his wife, “I’m gonna to go ask him.” “C’mon honey, leave the loser alone.” But he was already up and walking over. “Found anything?” the man calls out. “Oh yes,” says the detectorist. He reaches into his bag and pulls out a ring. “I found this…

The young bride approached her awaiting husband on their wedding night and demanded $20 for their first love-making encounter. In his highly aroused state, he readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love for the next 30 years, him thinking it was a cute way for her to buy new clothes, etc….

A boy starts his first day at walmart. His trainer says to him ” I’ll take care of the first 2 customers to show you how it’s done and you can look after the 3rd” So the trainer goes to the first customer and says ” can I help you mam?” Lady goes “Ya I’m…

The wife bought a new see through nighty, wore it without any underclothes and came swinging before the husband. Aroused Husband says, “You look so beautiful and s*xy my darling.” The wife says, “I know that, I tried it the same way at the store and the salesman was the first one to tell me…

Daughter’s text to Dad: Daddy, I’m coming home to get married soon, so get your checkbook ready. LOL! As you know, I’m in Australia and he’s in the US. We met on a dating site, became friends on Facebook, and had long chats on Whatsapp. He proposed to me on Skype and now we’ve had…

He slid into bed, kissed his wife on the cheek and fell into a deep sleep. He awoke before the Pearly Gates. St Peter said, “You died in your sleep, Ralph.” Ralph was stunned. “I’m dead? No, I can’t be! I’ve got too much to live for. Send me back!” St Peter said, “Hmm, perhaps…

They find a deserted cabin and take shelter. They find a sleeping bag, a bed, and a pile of blankets. The priest, being a gentleman, offers the nun the bed and takes the sleeping bag for himself. As they get tucked in for the night the nun calls out, “Father, Father I’m cold!” So the…

A blonde suspects that her boyfriend is cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment that same day, with the gun in hand. Sure enough, when she opens the door, she finds her boyfriend in the arms of a redhead. She points the gun at her boyfriend…