Every morning, when I’m about leaving for work, my wife always reminds me of something that I forgot. Sometimes the house keys, other times the office keys, often times my mobile phone, the charger or even documents and always finds the occasion to throw taunts at me like: “You’re starting to get old and lose…

A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl’s place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his trousers and again washes his hands. The girl has been watching him…

Jerry was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully to his wife, Karen, “I have one last request dear,” he said. “Of course, Jerry,” his wife said softly. “Six months after l die,” Jerry said, “I want you to marry Bob.” “But I thought you hated Bob,” she said. With his last breath, Jerry said, “I…

Two men were having an awfully slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake, and rough on the course. They didn’t bother to wave the men on through, which is proper golf etiquette. After two hours of waiting and waiting, one man said:…

A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldn’t know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he’d stay with him…

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her, “Do you know him?” “Yes”, she sighed, “He’s my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after…

At the end of the tax year, the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said: “I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?” “Good question”, noted the Rabbi. “We…

A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut, but the barber refused, saying, “you do God’s work.” The next morning the barber found a dozen bibles at the door to his shop. A policeman came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber…

Annie, 6 years old, gets home from school. She had her first family planning lesson at school. Her mother, very interested, asks;” How did it go?” “I died of shame!” She answers! Why? Her Mother asked. Annie said, “Kate from down the road, says that the stork brings babies. Sally next door said you can…

A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain. “What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?” “Throw out an anchor, Sir.” “What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?” “Throw out another anchor, Sir.” “And if another terrific storm sprang up…