A soldier returns home to his wife after a year-long deployment overseas.

He wants to show her how he managed to go a year without having s*x with anybody else. “So how did you do it?” she asks.

“I trained my d!ck to respond to drill commands like so.” He undoes his belt and drops his trousers. “d!ck, ten-HUT!”

His p*nis springs straight up, erect and raring to go. “d!ck, at ease!” His p*nis soon becomes flaccid. “Now you try!”

His wife tries it—”d!ck, ten-HUT!”, and his p*nis springs to life again.

“d!ck, at ease!” The soldier’s p*nis relaxes and softens. “Oh, we need to show the neighbors this!” The wife leaves and comes back with their neighbor, an attractive 20-something woman. His wife encourages her to try telling the soldier’s penis to come to attention and stand at ease.

“d!ck, attention!” the neighbor commands. The soldier’s p*nis, as expected, hardens.

“d!ck, at ease!” But his p*nis does not go down. “d!ck, at ease!”

The soldier looks down at his p*nis, still erect. “d!ck, at ease!”

But the military man’s member refuses to go down, so he runs away into the bathroom. His wife follows him and sees him furiously masturbating.

“Honey, what are you doing?” she asks with a hint of worry in her voice.

The soldier replies, “He’s not following my orders so I’m giving him a dishonorable discharge!”

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