GOSSIP

A man comes in and asks him “Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?” Farmer: “Some things you just can’t explain.” Man: “So what happened that’s so horrible?” Farmer: “Well, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her…

A pious man, who had reached the age of 105, suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old fellow’s absence after so many years of faithful attendance, the Rabbi went to see him. He found him in excellent health, so the Rabbi asked, “How come after all these years we don’t see you at…

A husband visited a marriage counsellor and said, “When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it’s all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around…

A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note, saying, “I’ve had enough and have left you. Don’t bother coming after me.” Long Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction. After a short while, the husband comes home and she could hear him in the…

A girl is about to tie the knot, and is watching her mother bake biscuits in the kitchen. “Mom?” she asks. “How do you keep Dad so happy after all these years of marriage?” The mother promptly throws a wad of biscuit dough on the floor, hikes up her dress, and squats down, picking the…

A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I want a 12-year-old scotch, and don’t try to fool me because I can tell the difference.” The bartender is skeptical and decides to try to trick the man with a 5-year-old scotch. The man takes a sip, scowIs, and says, “Hey bartender! This…

A priest and a nun are on their way back from the seminary when their car breaks down. The garage doesn’t open until morning so they have to spend the night in a B&B. It only has one room available. The priest says: “Sister, I don’t think the Lord would object if we spend the…

One day the teacher walks into her classroom and notices that someone has written the word P*NIS in tiny letters on the blackboard. She scans the class looking for a guilty face. Finding none, she erases the obscenity and begins class. The next day, the word P*NIS is written on the board again, this time…

A girl came skipping home FROM school one day. “Mommy, Mommy,” she yelled, “we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!” “Very good,” said her mother. “Is it because I’m blonde, Mommy?” “Yes, Honey,…

A man goes to confessional and tells the priest, “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I took the Lord’s name in vain while golfing.” Long “I understand, my son,” the priest says. “I play the game as well, and it can be frustrating. What happened?” “Well,” the man says, “I hit my drive on…