GOSSIP

Connor, the young Irish dude walked into the local welfare office with his pants hanging half down off his butt, two golden front teeth, and a half-inch thick gold chain around his neck to pick up his check. He marched up to the counter and said, “Hi. You know, I just hate drawing welfare. I’d…

A man wakes up and finds himself lying alone in a hospital room. He has no recollection of how he got there. While pondering it, his bedside phone rings, and he answers it. A doctor on the other end identifies himself, and tells the man: “I have really bad news. You’re very sick. After your…

A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner grocery picking out a large-size box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over and trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. “Nope, no laundry,” the boy said, “I’m going to wash my dog.” “You shouldn’t…

Bill Gates walks along on the private beach of his seaside villa thinking of nothing in particular. Suddenly an old bottle is washed ashore. He stops in his tracks, picks it up, opens it and a genie appears. The genie says, “Thank you for rescuing me from the bottle, Bill. You now have one wish….

A nice respectable lady with a savory smell of perfume got on the bus and took a seat beside me. After some moments I dared to ask her: “Excuse me lady do you mind me please to ask you what is the name of this perfume and where did you buy it from? I want…

Fred came home from University in tears. “Mum, am I adopted?” “No of course not”, replied his mother. Why would you think such a thing? Fred showed her his genealogy DNA test results. No match for any of his relatives, and strong matches for a family who lived the other side of the city. Perturbed,…

A woman goes to her boyfriend’s parents’ house for dinner. This is tobe her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are…

Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who make the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon, from New York, says, “I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.” The second, from Chicago, responds, “Yeah, but you should try electricians. Everything inside them…

A pastor found a Baboon that could talk. So he taught it how to sing, pray and preach. At one Sunday service, the pastor says to the congregation, “The Baboon is going to pray today”. The Baboon sits still and the pastor repeats but the Baboon did not respond. After the service pastor asks. “Why…

Little Brandon and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother’s house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When little Brandon received his plate, he started eating right away. “Brandon! Please wait until we say our prayer!” said his mother. “I don’t need to,” the boy replied. “Of…