Little Johnny Jokes that will make you Laugh !

Joke No 1 : Little Johnny is playing with his electric train

set in the living room and his mom is in the kitchen when she hears him say, “The train has arrived at the station. All you mother-fu*kers getting off, get off and all you mother-fu*kers getting on, get on.”

She immediately scolds him for the language and puts him in time-out for 30 minutes. He comes back afterwards and resumes playing with the train. She smiles when she hears him say, “The train has arrived at the station. Those getting off the train, please do so. Those getting on the train, please do so.”

Then he says, “If you would like to make a complaint about the train being late, then go talk to the b!tch in the kitchen,”

Joke No 2 : Little April and Little Johnny

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?”
When April didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
“GOD ALMIGHTY!” shouted April and the teacher said, “Very good” and April fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, “Who is our Lord and Saviour,” But, April didn’t even stir from her slumber.
Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.
“JESUS CHRIST!” shouted April and the teacher said, “very good,” and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question.
“What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?”
And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.
The Teacher fainted.

Joke No 3 : Little Johnny and Teacher .

A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b!tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day”.

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. “And you, Susie? ” the teacher asks. Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s b!tch.”

Joke No 4 : Littl eJohnny and Black Eye.

Little Johnny comes home from sunday school with a black eye.

His father sees it and says, “Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?”

“But Dad, it wasn’t my fault.

We were all in church saying our prayers.

We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt.

I reached over and pulled it out.

That’s when she hit me!”

“Johnny,” the father said. “You don’t do those kind of things to women.”

Sure enough, the very next sunday Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue.

Johnny’s father said,

“Johnny, I thought we had a talk!”

“But Dad,” Johnny said, “It wasn’t my fault.

There we were in church saying our prayers.

We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt.

Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out.

Now I know she doesn’t like this, so I pushed it back in!”

Joke No 5 : Little Johnny and Boss

Boss: Shouting “Little Johnny come to my office right now…”
Little Johnny: “Yes sir”!
Boss : “Little Johnny, I saw you arguing with the customer that just left. I have told you before that the customer is always right. Do you understand me?”
Little Johnny: “Yes sir!, the customer is always right”.
Boss : “So what were you arguing about with that customer?”
Little Johnny: “He said my boss is stupid and an idiot sir”!
Boss: “That bustard. What did u say to him?”
Little Johnny: “I told him he’s right.

Joke No 6 : Little Johnny and neighborhood boys

Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid.
Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel.
One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, “Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don’t you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel’s bigger?”
Johnny grins and says, “Well, if I took the dime, they’d stop doing it, and so far I’ve made $20!”

Joke No 7 : Little Johnny and Teacher

A teacher said to her class, “Right, i’m going to hold something under the desk and i want you to guess it.

This one is round and red.” Little Johnny’s hand shot up, but he was ignored.

“It’s a plum miss,” said a girl.

“no it’s an apple, but i like your thinking. The next one is oval shaped and green.”

The teacher ignored Little Johnny again and a boy said, “It’s a kiwi miss.”

No, it’s a guana, but i like your thinking.”

Little Johnny said, ” I got one miss, its stiff, about an inch long and with a red nib.”

“Johny, thats disgusting!” shouted the teacher. ” no it’s a match, but i like your thinking.” Said Little Johnny.

Joke No 8 : Little Johnny and Grandpa

One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. Little Johnny asked, “Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?” His grandpa replied, “Can your p*nis reach your @ssh0le?” “No”, said Little Johnny. His grandpa replied, “Then you’re not old enough.”

The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, “Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?” His grandpa replied, “Can your p*nis reach your @ssh0le?” “No” said Little Johhny. “Then you’re not old enough.” his grandpa replied.

The next day, Little Johnny was eating cookies. His grandpa asked, “Can I have some of your cookies?” Little Johnny replied, “Can your p*nis reach your @sshole?” His grandpa replied, “It most certainly can!” Little Johnny replied, “Then go fu*k yourself.

Joke No 9 : Little Johnny and Honeymoon

Fred and Mary got married, but can’t afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred’s parent’s home for their first night together.

In the morning, Johnny, Fred’s little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. She replies, “No”. Johnny asks, “Do you know what I think?” His mom replies, “I don’t want to hear what you think! Just go to school.” Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, “Are Fred and Mary up yet?”

She replies, “No.” Johnny says, “Do you know what I think?” His mom replies, “Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school.” After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, “Are Fred and Mary up yet?” His mom says “No.” He asks, “Do you know what I think?” His Mom replies, “Ok, do tell me what you think?” He says: “Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.”

Joke No 10 : Little Johnny and Horse Auction

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, “Dad, why are you doing that?” His father replied, “Because when I’m buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, “c”

Leave a Comment

error: Content is protected !!