YOUR LIFESTYLE MAGZINE
A plane is carrying one hundred bricks. One falls out. How many are left on the plane? A: 99. What are the three steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge, put the giraffe in, and close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting an elephant in the fridge? Open…
A man’s at a restaurant in Spain and he sees a waiter delivering two huge, round meatballs to the next table. he calls a waiter over and says he wants the same but the waiter says, senor, there is only one dish per day, they are the of the bull killed at the bullfight today…
A student and the head teacher in a school. Set the scene: Recently a school in a small village has been vandalised, this is a big deal as the village is so small and everyone knows each other… the vandal as yet to be caught & a warrant has been put out for his/ her…
A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall that says, “$500 if we fail to fill your order.” When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant tail on rye. She calmly writes down his order and walks into the kitchen Almost immediately he hears an explosion of voices. The restaurant…
A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting, “Boeing! Boeing!! Boeing!!!” She forgets where she is,…
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing. One old lady turns to the other and asks, “Do you still get horny?” The other replies, “Oh sure I do.” The first old lady asks, “What do you do about It?” The second old lady replies, “I s**k a lifesaver.” After a few…
A boy who was a witness to a crime was called to testify in court. He was approached by the defense attorney who asked, “Did anyone tell you what to say in court?” “Yes, sir,” answered the boy. “I thought so,” said the attorney. “Who was it?” “My father, sir.” “And what did he tell…
Tax day, April 15, was looming when an elderly woman showed up at the IRS. She said she required a thick stack of tax forms. “Why so many?” the clerk asked. “My son is stationed overseas,” she said. “He asked me to pick up forms for the Marines on the base.” “You shouldn’t have to…
An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery, and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son. “Yes Dad, what is it?” “Don’t be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn’t…
The population of this country is 327 million. 76 million are retired. That leaves 251 million to do the work. There are 48 million people who are permanently disabled. Which leaves 203 million to do the work. There are 74 million children younger than 6. Which leaves 129 million to do the work. There are…