YOUR LIFESTYLE MAGZINE
A man is in a hotel lobby.He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her bre@st. They are both startled and he says, “Ma’am, if your heart is as soft…
Three women were sitting in a bar, (burnette, redhead, and a blonde) they were all pregnant. The burnette says, “I know what I’m going to have.” The other to asked how. She replied, “Well I was on top when I concieved so I will have a baby boy”. The red head said, “If your logic…
An old man goes to confession. He tells the priest that on Friday night, he’d been in the bar when he met a young woman. “Maybe 22,” he says. “A gorgeous blonde. I started lusting, Father.” “Yes,” says the priest, “Lust is a dangerous sin.” “There’s more,” says the man. “We went back to her…
Tom and John are hanging out.Tom asks John, “It’s fuckin’ freezin’ in here. Can you get me my fuckin’ slippers?”John goes upstairs to get the slippers and he comes across Tom’s hot 21-year-old twin sisters. He tells them, “Your brother told me to have sex with both of you.” One of the sisters replies,”Prove it!”…
A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck,…
A lady walks into the pro shop to complain about bee stings while she is golfing. The pro asks: you get stung?”“Between the first and second hole” she answers. The pro replied: “your stance is too wide”.
A man brings some flowers home to his wife.She’s so surprised by his romantic gesture that she lays back on the diningtable, throws her legs in the air and spreads them. Her husband confused looks down and goes, “What’s that for?” His wife replies, “For the flowers of course.” He thinks for a moment and…
A woman walks out of the shower,winks at her boyfriend,and says, “Honey,I shaved myself down there.Do you know what that means?” The boyfriend says,“Yeah, it means the drainis clogged again.”
A man gets the words ‘l love you’ tattooed to his pen1s. He goes home and shows his wife. His wife says ” Dont try to put your words in my mouth .
A woman is looking in the mirror when her husband enters the room. She complains to him that her breasts are too small, so he pipes up with a solution. “Rub a piece of toilet paper be- tween them for a few seconds, every day” he says. Willing to try anything, she grabs a sheet…