YOUR LIFESTYLE MAGZINE
A woman arrived at a party & while scanning the guests she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him smiled and said, “Hello. My name is Carmen.” “That’s a beautiful name,” he replied. “Is it a family name?” “No,” she replied. “As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents…
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, “If I’m going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.” She removes all her clothing and asks, “Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?” A man stands…
A wife and husband are having money issues. One day they decide to have the wife work the corner. Later that night the husband goes to pick the wife up. He asks, “How much did you make, sweetie?” She answers, “I made $200.50.” The husband says, “What asshole gave you 50 cents?”
A man and a woman were having drinks at a business conference when they got into an argument about who enjoyed bed time more. The man said, “Men obviously enjoy bed time more than women. Why do you think we’re so obsessed with getting laid?” “That doesn’t prove anything,” the woman countered. “Think about this:…
Little Johnny asks his mother, “Mom, what are those things on your chest!?” as they are both taking showers. Unsure of how to respond, she advises Johnny to bring up the subject with his father at breakfast the next day, confident that it will be forgotten. Johnny wasn’t negligent. He posed the same query to…
Susan’s mother: “What are you doing on the top of that tree?” Susan: “Some boys are playing football their ball is fallen on the tree. They asked me to bring it.” Susan’s mother: “My dear , they only want to chech your pants.” Susan: “Don’t worry mam, I hav’nt put on my pants!”
He was instructed to take off his clothes and put on a gown by the nurse so the doctor could examine him. “Ahead of you?” Shyly, he asks. Says the nurse: “Well, no, but I have previously seen a human body. The man uttered, Not one like mine, though. You’d pass out from laughter at…
A girlfriend and boyfriend walked into the girlfriends house and the girlfriend said to her mom, “Mom, me and my boyfriend are going up to my room” and the mom says, “Ok honey, you kids have fun.” When they are up their the mom hears: “Baby baby baby oh!” The mom walks to the door…
A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a c🅾️nd🅾️m, then walks out of the store laughing hysterically. The pharmacist thinks this is weird, but, hey, there’s no law preventing weird people from buying condoms. Maybe it’s a good thing. The next day, the man comes back to the store, purchases another c🅾️nd🅾️m, and once again…
This is a German joke, but I think I found a way to translate it: A girl wants to introduce her new boyfriend to her parents. He knocks on the door and the parents together open the door and introduce themselves: “Hi, my name is Sarah and this is my husband Michael, nice to meet…