A nun, badly needing to use to the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while ‘the lights would turn off.’ Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun,the room … Read more
A husband suspected his wife was cheating on him. He explained his situation to a pet shop owner who replied, “I have a parrot that will let you know daily what goes on in your house. The bird has no legs, so he holds onto his perch with his pen!s.” Reluctantly, the husband brought the … Read more
A woman arrived at a party & while scanning the guests she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him smiled and said, “Hello. My name is Carmen.” “That’s a beautiful name,” he replied. “Is it a family name?” “No,” she replied. “As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents … Read more
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, “If I’m going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.” She removes all her clothing and asks, “Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?” A man stands … Read more
A wife and husband are having money issues. One day they decide to have the wife work the corner. Later that night the husband goes to pick the wife up. He asks, “How much did you make, sweetie?” She answers, “I made $200.50.” The husband says, “What asshole gave you 50 cents?”
A man and a woman were having drinks at a business conference when they got into an argument about who enjoyed bed time more. The man said, “Men obviously enjoy bed time more than women. Why do you think we’re so obsessed with getting laid?” “That doesn’t prove anything,” the woman countered. “Think about this: … Read more
Little Johnny asks his mother, “Mom, what are those things on your chest!?” as they are both taking showers. Unsure of how to respond, she advises Johnny to bring up the subject with his father at breakfast the next day, confident that it will be forgotten. Johnny wasn’t negligent. He posed the same query to … Read more
Susan’s mother: “What are you doing on the top of that tree?” Susan: “Some boys are playing football their ball is fallen on the tree. They asked me to bring it.” Susan’s mother: “My dear , they only want to chech your pants.” Susan: “Don’t worry mam, I hav’nt put on my pants!”
He was instructed to take off his clothes and put on a gown by the nurse so the doctor could examine him. “Ahead of you?” Shyly, he asks. Says the nurse: “Well, no, but I have previously seen a human body. The man uttered, Not one like mine, though. You’d pass out from laughter at … Read more
A girlfriend and boyfriend walked into the girlfriends house and the girlfriend said to her mom, “Mom, me and my boyfriend are going up to my room” and the mom says, “Ok honey, you kids have fun.” When they are up their the mom hears: “Baby baby baby oh!” The mom walks to the door … Read more