Category: Funny Jokes

A little boy asks his mother, “Mom, is it possible to eat electricity?” The mother says: ‘What? Where did you hear that? The boy replied: “Yesterday I heard Dad say to you, ‘Turn off the light and put it in your mouth.’

A very ‘straight and honest’ girl is going to Town. Before she left, her mother gave her some advice: “Daughter, when you’re in Town and if you’re looking for a match there, you must take note of the following the requirements mother set for you. You must find a man that is faithful’, ‘thrifty’ and…

A guy visits his favorite dominatrix He puts his money on the bedside table and says “I’ve been bad, mistress. I need to be punished.” She makes him strip and bend over as she whips his quivering bottom. Next she makes him crawl into bed and ties him securely to the bedposts. She runs her…

Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day, and both go before an Angel to find out if they’ll be admitted to Heaven. Unfortunately, there’s only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them gets in. The Angel asks Dolly if there’s some particular reason why she should…

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring…

The baby pigeon complained to his mother before flying a long distance, ‘I can’t make it, I’ll get too tired.’ His mother replied, ‘Don’t worry, I’ll tie a piece of string to one of your legs and the other end to mine.’ The baby started to cry. ‘What’s wrong?’ asked the mother sympathetically. ‘I don’t…

A Blonde calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started.” Her boyfriend asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?” The blonde says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a rooster.” Her…

A blond cop pulls over a blond and asks for her drivers license. The blond starts looking through her car then asks, “Uhh, what are they again?” The blond cop replies, “Ugh. It’s the thing in your purse with your picture on it.” “Oh yeah,” says the blond who reaches in her purse, pulls out…

Blonde walks into a doctor’s office and says: “Doctor, what’s the problem with me? When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts… When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts… When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts… When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!” The Doctor replies: “Your finger is broken.

Bob – I think my wife has a lover – a florist. Andy – How do you know? Bob – When I returned home after work, I found freshly gathered roses on the bed. Andy – Well, and I think my wife has a lover – a plumber. Bob – How do you know? Andy…