YOUR LIFESTYLE MAGZINE
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eys, and bows down…
A man walks into his doctor’s office and puts a note on the table for the doctor to read. It said, “I can’t talk! Help me!” The doctor nodded sagely, and instructed the man to put his thumb on the table. The man thinks to himself that his thumb has nothing to do with his…
A father walks with his young son into a coffee shop in Munich. He gives the young boy three Dollar coins to play with to keep him occupied. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the coins and starts slapping him on the back. The…
Computer-savvy Father Shufflebottom uses a standard liturgy for funerals. To personalize each service, he enters a “find and replace” command into his word processor. The computer then finds the name of the deceased from the previous funeral and replaces it with the name of the deceased for the upcoming one. The other day, Father Shufflebottom…
Norman comes home unexpectedly in the middle of the day. He opens the front door and finds his wife Georgia standing in the middle of their deluxe apartment wearing a red G-string, high heels, and the whole apartment is flooded. “What happened here?” he asks astonished. “I think the waterbed busted,” says the trembling wife….
A Polish man had married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada for a year or so and although his English was far from perfect, the couple got on well. One day, though, he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked if he could arrange for a divorce for him….”very quick!!!” The lawyer…
A delivery man was driving along in his smart grey van, but every mile or so he stopped, got out and banged its sides with a mallet. The policeman followed him for a while, then stopped the van by the roadside and asked the driver what he thought he was playing at. “Well, it’s like…
Caller: “Since I have installed Windows 10, Office crashes constantly.” Hotline: “Yes, we had the same problem here.” Caller: “And what did you do?” Hotline: “We have installed Windows 10 again.” Caller: “OK, then I’ll do it now.” An hour later the Caller is back: “Now the computer isn’t working at all.” Hotline: “Just like…
Teacher: How old is your father? Johnny: He is 6 years old. Teacher: How is this possible? Johnny: He became a father when I was born. *** Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America. Maria: Here it is. Teacher: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? Class: Maria! *** Teacher: Glenn, how do…
Two statisticians were travelling in an airplane from LA to New York. About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced that they had lost an engine, but don’t worry, there are three left. However, instead of 5 hours it would take 7 hours to get to New York. A little later, he announced that…