YOUR LIFESTYLE MAGZINE
A man had been in a mental institution for some years. Finally he seemed to have improved to the point where it was thought he might be released. The head of the institution, in a fit of commendable caution, decided, however, to interview him first. “Tell me,” said he, “if we release you, as we…
Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, “What are you up to there, Tim?” “My goldfish died,” replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, “And I’ve just buried him.” The neighbor was concerned, “That’s…
Wyatt was inspecting a communications facility in Alaska. Since he had little experience in flying in small planes, he was a bit jittery when they approached a landing strip in a snow-covered area. The pilot descended to just a couple hundred feet, then gunned both engines, climbed, and circled back. While Wyatt’s heart pounded, the passenger beside him seemed calm. “I wonder…
A lawyer meets with the family of a recently deceased millionaire for the reading of the will. “To my loving wife, Rose, who always stood by me, I leave the house and $8 million,” the attorney reads. “To my darling daughter, Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave…
A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early. So he arrived home four hours ahead of schedule, at 2 in the morning. Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom and started to climb into bed. Just then, his wife…
Little Freddie is crying and his mother asks him what is the matter. “My turtle is dead mommy,” the little boy, sorrowfully tells his mother, holding the turtle out to her. The mother kisses him on the head, then says, “That’s all right. We’ll wrap him in tissue paper, put him in a little box,…
After my husband and I had a huge argument, we ended up not talking to each other for days. Finally, on the third day, as he was frantically looking for a clean shirt, he asked where they were. “Oh,” I said, “So now you’re speaking to me.” He looked confused and asked, “What are you…
A homeless man, down on his luck, went into a Catholic church. The church was known for its rather ‘uppity’ social reputation. Spotting the man’s dirty clothes, the ushers stopped him outside the church door and asked if he needed help. The man told them, “I was praying and the Lord told me to come to…
On Monday morning a postman is walking the neighbourhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he notices that both cars are in the driveway. His wonder is cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles. “Wow Bob, looks like you guys…
Two young, entrepreneurial prostitutes were driving around town. Their car had a sign on top that read: “Two Prostitutes – $50.00.” A police officer, seeing the sign, pulled the ladies over and advised that they would have to remove the sign or go to jail. Right about that time a minivan passed by with a…