In ancient Sumeria there was an uprising against the king. The king defeated the rebels but wanted to capture all their leaders, so sent his greatest general to hunt them down. The remaining rebels had taken refuge in an abandoned step pyramid. Because it was so chilly at night, they lit a fire for warmth….

“You’re late. Where were you?” asked his father. “I was with my friend Jessica.” he replied. “Doing what?” his dad asked again. “We were just studying, Dad.” replied the boy. The father glared at him skeptically. Wanting to change the subject, the boy picked up a snack off the kitchen table and took a bite….

A diner who had finished brunch at a Cantonese restaurant called the waiter over to question the bill. “I can read the costs of all the individual items we ordered, but the total amount I owe is so faint I can’t read it,” the diner complained. “But sir,” the waiter responded, “you specifically requested the…

A man is planning to move to a big city so he decides to explore it a bit. He finds a pub and decides to go in. He goes up to the bartender. Customer – How much for a beer? Bartender – 3 cents Customer – And how much for a sandwich? Bartender- about 5…

Husband store A store that sells new husbands has opened in town, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the…

Tea is an evil substance. It is much more dangerous than beer. I discovered this last night. I drank 15 beers up until 3 am in the pub while my wife was just at home drinking tea. You should have seen how mad and violent she was when I got home. She threw the chair…

A newly opened bar has a sign outside, beer for only $3 A man sees the sign, walks into the bar and orders a beer. After finishing the beer, the man takes out three $1 coins from his pocket, and feeling a bit mischievous, gets up from his seat, walks to one end of the…

Two blonds were walking through the woods They came across a set of tracks.Blond#1 says: Those are moose tracksBlond#2 says: Those are deer tracks As they were arguing the train hit them.

A teenager brings her new boyfriendhome to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings. Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’tseem to be a very nice boy.”“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing500 hours of community service?”

A toothless guy goes to the dentist to finally get some dentures. After several appointments he finally has a beautiful new set of teeth. But only a few months later, he’s back at the dentist saying there’s a problem. The dentist looks and his mouth and is shocked: both plates are so corroded the damage…