The Skull detective has narrowed it down to 3 suspects: Pelvis, Femur, and Spine. Skull sits down and interrogates each of them separately. “Pelvis is guilty. I saw them with the victim just 2 hours before they died.” Says Femur. “Pelvis was acting suspicious the day after the victim died, and I think I saw…

I met a pimp who always worked with exactly 1 brunette for every 2 blondes His name was Horatio

A Highway Patrol Officer pulled over a little old lady for going 10mph on the highway.As he walked up to the old lady’s car he noticed there were 3 other elderly folks looking very frightened and rigid.He leaned down to the old lady’s window and noticed she was as calm as could be.“Do you know…

So, Quasimodo has been ringing the bell at Notre Dame for years, and wants a vacation. He asks the Sexton for a week off. The Sexton says yes, but asks Quasimodo to select and train a temp to do the job while Quasimodo is on vacation. He selects his twin brother, who has no arms….

Why are asian parents much harder on girls than boys? Because girls always get an F in gender

A girl asked me what it’s like having a p*nis… …I told her: “It’s hard sometimes”

A priest and rabbi are sitting on an airline next to each other The stewardess brings out their meals, the priest a pork dinner, and the rabbi a salad. The priest turns to the rabbi and says “can I ask you a question?” the rabbi nods. The priest asks “you don’t eat pork correct?” The…

All of the 10 Senior Members of the Board of Directors of the Company were called into the Chairman’s office one by one until only Bob, the junior-most Member, was left sitting outside. Finally it was his turn to be summoned. He entered the Office to find the Chairman and the ten other Directors seated…

He started with the words: “The best days of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who is not my wife.” The room was silent. He continued, “That woman was my mother.” A man in the audience was inspired by this quote and happened to be making an address of his own…

Dude next to me in the bar starts bragging to me about how much money he’s been making with his new side hustle. “So, here’s the thing – I’m not gay, but I found out there’s a whole bunch of guys in this town that will pay you to suck them off behind the laundromat…