Why does a 16-inch vegetarian pizza give you a lot more pizza than a 16-inch pepperoni? Because it’s mushroomier

An old cowboy walks into a barbershop for a shave and a haircut.He tells the barber he can’t get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread…

BOSS: Do you believe in life after death ? EMPLOYEE : Certainly Not ! There’s No Proof of It. BOSS: Well, There Is Now. After You Left early Yesterday to go to your Uncle’s funeral, He Came Here Looking For You.

A woman is concerned that she may have a big v@gina. She confides in a friend who tells her to go home get undressed and then put a mirror on the floor,stand over it and she will know. So she goes home and does exactly that. At that same moment her husband comes in from…

A woman got up and out of bed and stretched and a penny fell out of her privates. She thought it was odd but kept on with her morning routine. She went to put on a pot of coffee and a nickel fell out of her privates. She was concerned but continued her morning routine….

As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil. Satan: Why so glum? Guy: What do you think? I’m in hell! Satan: Hell’s not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. Are you a drinking man? Guy: Sure, I love to drink. Satan: Well you’re gonna…

The boss says “You seem like a nice guy. If you marry my daughter, I’ll make you a partner, give you an expense account, a Ferrari, and a million dollar annual salary.” The employee asks what’s wrong with her. The boss shows him a picture, and she’s hideous. The boss says, “It’s only fair to…

A boss has to interview 4 girls for a secretary position…..He asked the same question to each one of them. Boss: “A woman normally has lips in 2 different places. What’s the difference between the two? First Girl: “one is hairy, the other isn’t ” …..Boss: “OK.. good!” Second Girl: “one can talk but the…

They’re teeing off on the 7th hole. The husband slices his drive into the rough, with his line to the green blocked by a maintenance shed. He says to his wife, “I guess I’ll take a drop.” The wife replies, “wait, if we open the shed doors on both sides, you can hit straight through.”…

My grandmother has gotten to the stage where all she does is go on about who’s just died.“Do you remember Muriel? She’s just died.” “Do you remember Arthur? He’s just died.” I said, “Gran. Get off the roof and give me the gun!”