A boy starts his first day at walmart. His trainer says to him ” I’ll take care of the first 2 customers to show you how it’s done and you can look after the 3rd” So the trainer goes to the first customer and says ” can I help you mam?” Lady goes “Ya I’m…

The wife bought a new see through nighty, wore it without any underclothes and came swinging before the husband. Aroused Husband says, “You look so beautiful and s*xy my darling.” The wife says, “I know that, I tried it the same way at the store and the salesman was the first one to tell me…

Daughter’s text to Dad: Daddy, I’m coming home to get married soon, so get your checkbook ready. LOL! As you know, I’m in Australia and he’s in the US. We met on a dating site, became friends on Facebook, and had long chats on Whatsapp. He proposed to me on Skype and now we’ve had…

He slid into bed, kissed his wife on the cheek and fell into a deep sleep. He awoke before the Pearly Gates. St Peter said, “You died in your sleep, Ralph.” Ralph was stunned. “I’m dead? No, I can’t be! I’ve got too much to live for. Send me back!” St Peter said, “Hmm, perhaps…

They find a deserted cabin and take shelter. They find a sleeping bag, a bed, and a pile of blankets. The priest, being a gentleman, offers the nun the bed and takes the sleeping bag for himself. As they get tucked in for the night the nun calls out, “Father, Father I’m cold!” So the…

A blonde suspects that her boyfriend is cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment that same day, with the gun in hand. Sure enough, when she opens the door, she finds her boyfriend in the arms of a redhead. She points the gun at her boyfriend…

Bryan and his grandmother were walking in the rain when suddenly Bryan finds his favor- ite candy on the ground. He asks his grandmother if he can eat it and she says “don’t pick up dirty things you find on the ground”. They continue walking and the grandmother slips and falls in a pool of…

Professor told d*rty jokes in class and the women wanted to protest it. So they decided that in the next time that the professor will start with these kinds of jokes, they all will leave the class as a protest. Somehow the professor heard about the protest. In the next lecture,in the beginning of the…

Death: It’s your time. give me your hand Blonde: No! i know that if i dont touch you then I’ll never die! Death: Holy shit! You figured out the key to living forever! You’re soooo smart! High five! Blonde: *high fives* Death: Typical blonde… Dumbass…

Three nuns told a priest they were going to commit a sin each. Afterward, they came back to him to say their confession so he could bless them. Three nuns in a convent went to their priest and told him they would commit one sin each. The priest said okay and asked them to go…