A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew’s refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning…

A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, “Give it to me straight. How long have I got?” The physician replied that he doubted that the man would survive the night. The man then said, “Call for my lawyer.” When the lawyer arrived, the man asked for his…

A man is sitting in the bar at a busy airport. A beautiful woman walks in and sits down next to him. He presumes, because she’s got a uniform on, she’s probably an off duty flight attendant. So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for…

A Chinese Doctor can’t find a job in a Hospital in the US, so he opens his own clinic and puts a sign outside reading ‘GET TREATMENT FOR $20 – IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100.’ Lawyer: “I have lost my sense of taste.” Chinese: “Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 14 and put 3…

Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap. Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it , not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand, and heads…

At a government affair, the wives of four world leaders are chatting about how people refer to a penis in their countries. The wife of Tony Blair says in England people call it a gentleman, because it stands up when women are entering. The wife of Boris Yeltsin says in Russia you call it a…

“I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor’s office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45…

Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, “Excuse me, ladies, I’d like to see your fishing licenses.” “We don’t have any,” replied the first blonde. “Well, if you’re going…

After a week, they are thoroughly bored. The men decide that maybe life will take on new meaning if they change partners. They all agree that it’s an experiment worth trying. The morning after the switch, one of the husbands says, ”I’m glad we tried this. It was exhilarating. Come on, let’s go in the…

A man returning home a day early from a business trip got into a taxi at the airport. It was after midnight. While enroute to his home, he asked the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspected his wife was having an affair and he intended to catch her in the act….