A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs. A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband’s two. She reaches for…

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor’s office. “Is it true,” she wanted to know, “that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?” “Yes, I’m afraid so,” the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied: “I’m wondering, then, just how serious…

Little Johnny and Susie were about to go into his apartment and before he could open his door, Little Johnny said, “Wait a minute, I can tell how a man makes love by how he unlocks his door.” Susie says, “Well, give me some examples.” Little Johnny proceeds to tell him, “Well, the first way…

Marge was in bed with a man (not her husband). All of a sudden, they heard a noise downstairs. “Oh, my gosh, your husband is home! What am I going to do?” “Just stay in bed with me. He’s probably so drunk he isn’t going to notice you here with me.” The fear of getting…

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up in Jack’s minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night. “I realize it’s…

An old man in Mississippi is sitting on his front porch watching the sun rise. He sees the neighbor’s kid walk by carrying something big under his arm. “Hey boy, whatcha got there?” “Roll of chicken wire.” “What you gonna do with that?” “Gonna catch some chickens.” “You damn fool! You can’t catch chickens with…

A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; the wife preferred to read. One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap. The wife decided to take the boat out. She was not familiar…

College professor is experiencing a “slow-down” in his s*x-life with his wife… … so he is trying to figure out how to spice it up. He is hearing that there is a foreign student who has a lot of luck with girls on the campus so he decides to ask him for advice. “Paolo, how…

A young, extremely perky woman gets into an elevator with an older man… The woman smiles broadly and says, “TGIF”! The man slowly turns to her and deadpans, “S.h.i.t.” The woman, thinking that he didn’t hear her, slowly repeats “T.G.I.F.” He simply responds, “S.h.i.t.”, just as slowly. Exasperated, she laughs and says, “TGIF stands for…

There’s a woman sitting in the vets with her small dog A young girl, with a great Dane comes in and sits beside her As they are waiting they strike up a conversation: The young girl says “What’s he in… The woman replies, “He’s here to get neutered.” The young girl looks shocked and asks,…