The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession. “Of course, my son,” said the priest. “Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my…

I bumped into an old school friend at the store today. He started showing off, talking about his well paid job and expensive sports cars. Then he pulled out his phone and showed me a photo of his wife and said, “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” I replied, “If you think she’s gorgeous, you should see…

One night a girl said to her family “Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said “Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said…

A woman carried BABY to an obstetrician and gynecologist and asked the woman: Does BABY take breast milk or milk? Woman: Breast milk! Doctor: Then please take off your clothes. Woman: Ah! ? why? Doctor: Please don’t worry, this is the obstetrics and gynecology department, and it will never infringe on YOU The woman took…

A married couple is lying in bed one night. The wife is curled up, ready to go to sleep, and the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book. As he’s reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her special bits. He does this a few times, but only for…

Little Johnny and his pal Billy were walking in the park when they passed three ladies eating bananas on a bench. “Howdy ladies,” Little Johnny said as he passed three women. “Do you know them?” Billy asked. “No,” Little Johnny replied, “I’ve never met the nun, the prostitute or the bride we just passed.” “How…

On the bus, a beautiful girl is touching up her makeup. Suddenly the girl keenly noticed that a boy had been watching her secretly. The girl said bitterly: “What do you look at? Haven’t you seen a girl?” The boy lowered his head in shame, and said embarrassedly: “No, no. I, I’m just a little…

Two couples are playing cards at the table, and someone accidentally knocks them to the floor. One of the men goes under the table to pick up the cards, and as he looks up he can see up his friend’s wife’s dress and that she isn’t wearing any underwear. Blushing coming up from the table,…

A newlywed couple is on their honeymoon cruise and they’re unpacking their bags. The husband complains that all his clothes are wrinkled and that there’s no ironing board in the cabin. To which the wife replies: “Don’t worry. Everyone here’s in the same boat.”

An Iris‌‌h daughte‌‌r ha‌‌d no‌‌t bee‌‌n hom‌‌e fo‌‌r ove‌‌r ‌‌5 years‌‌. Upo‌‌n he‌‌r retur‌‌n he‌‌r Fathe‌‌r curse‌‌d he‌‌r heavily “Wher‌‌e hav‌‌e y‌‌e bee‌‌n al‌‌l thi‌‌s time‌‌, child‌‌? Wh‌‌y di‌‌d y‌‌e no‌‌t writ‌‌e t‌‌o us‌‌, no‌‌t eve‌‌n ‌‌a line‌‌? Wh‌‌y didn’‌‌t y‌‌e call‌‌? Ca‌‌n y‌‌e no‌‌t understan‌‌d wha‌‌t y‌‌e pu‌‌t ye‌‌r ol‌‌d Mothe‌‌r through?‌‌” ‌‌ Th‌‌e…