Little Johnny, a city boy, goes to visit his grandpa on the farm. On his first day there, he goes to his grandfather: “Oy, gramps, your bull is f*cking the cows.” “Oh my goodness, Johnny! We don’t talk like that here! We use the gentlemanly ‘the bull is scaring the cows’.” “Yeah, whatever gramps.” On…

John was talking to his fiancée Rebecca and he said Be honest now baby How am I as a lover? To which she replied Honey I would definitely say that you re warm Really? he said excitedly Yes in fact I would say that you re the dictionary definition of the word warm John was…

A couple of tourists were dining at a fine restaurant in Paris. After waiting for an hour, the husband finally was able to catch the waiter’s eye. “I want a bottle of your best wine,” he ordered. “What year?” asked the waiter. “Right now!” bellowed the tourist.

Ed, Ted and their wives went out camping one weekend. Ed and Ted slept in one tent while the wives used the other. At about three in the morning, Ted woke up and yelled, “Wow, unbelievable!” Which woke Ed. “What’s going on?” said Ed. “I’ve got to go to the other tent and find my…

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar .After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, “Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?” To which she responds by yelling, at the top…

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?” The husband replied, “All I wanted to do…

A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window. Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh. As he does this he says to the woman, “Do you know what I’m…

A milkman who is dying in the hospital is surrounded his two sons, daughter and his wife and nurse. Says to his eldest son: “To you, Peter, I leave the Beverly terrace.” “To you, my dear daughter, I leave the apartments in the High street Plaza.” “To you, Charlie, being my youngest son with a…

Theres this girl,she is five. She goes spying on her big sister and she hears her cussing out her boyfriend and she says,”you mother f*cking @sshole!” Just then jill, thats the little girl,interrupts them talking and blurts out, “Big Sis,what does @sshole mean? The girl surprised by the question,says BOYFRIEND! Okay , so the girl…