A guy was standing in a bar when a stranger walks in. After a while they get to talking and at about 10:30 PM the second guy says, “Oh well,I better get home. My wife doesn’t like me to stay out during late night.” The first guy replies, “I’ll help you out of this. Just…

The old man sat in his gas station on a cold Christmas Eve. He hadn’t been anywhere in years since his wife had passed away. It was just another day to him. He didn’t hate Christmas, just couldn’t find a reason to celebrate. He was sitting there looking at the snow that had been falling…

A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the First house of the street. A tall lady answered the door. Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet. “Madam, if I could not…

An American, Brit, and an Aussie are about to get executed in Russia. The executioner approaches the American prisoner and says, “How would you like to die? By firing squad, hung by the neck, or on the electric Chair?” “I’ll take the chair” the American says. So he gets strapped into the electric chair. When…

Three College girls visit the doctor for an examination. Doctor: “Take off your blouse and bra.” So the girl complies and there is imprint of a T on her chest. Doctor says: “What caused this?” Girl: “Well my boyfriend goes to Texas University and likes to wear his letter jacket when we make love.” Doctor:…

A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter’s bedroom. When she opened the door she found her daughter without clothes on the bed with a vibrator. “What are you doing?” She exclaimed. The daughter replied, “I’m 35 and still living at home with my parents and…

A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation. “What’s the matter?” he was asked. He said, “I heard the nurse say, ‘It’s a very simple operation, don’t worry, I’m sure it will be all right.’” “She was just trying to comfort you, what’s so frightening about that?” “She…

A young lady is working at an old people’s home when she walks into an old gentleman’s room. He’s holding a set of photographs and looks upset. “What’s the matter?” She asks “I’ve got no-one to pass these onto to when I go”. Says the old man, looking at his photos “Let me show you”…

A handsome man in a suit approaches a young lady at a bar and asks if he can buy her a drink. “Don’t you have a girlfriend?” she asked. “Guys like you always have girlfriends.” He looked downcast, “No, sadly we broke up just over a month ago.” “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” she…

At a jewellery store, an old man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. “Don’t you want her name engraved upon it?” asked the jeweller. The Old man thought for a moment, and then, ever the pragmatic steadfastly replied, “No, just engrave it: To My One And Only Love. That way, if…