While reading an article about fathers and sons drinking together, I realized that after all this time, I had never taken my son out for a drink. So off we went to our local bar, which was only two blocks from the house. I got him a Budweiser. He didn’t like it, so I drank…

Two nuns are running away from a bear, who is gaining on them. “Do you think we’ll be able to outrun him, Sister?” one of the nuns asks the other. “I don’t have to outrun him, Sister,” said the other nun. “I only have to outrun you.”

A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly. “Quick,” said the woman to her lover, “into the closet!”, and she pushed him into the closet stark undressed. The husband, however, became suspicious and after…

A husband and wife were in the bathroom getting ready for work when the husband looked at his wife and said, “I gotta have you!” He backed her up against the bathroom door, pulled down her underclothes and ravaged her. He knew he was doing great because she screamed and wiggled more than she ever…

A 70-year-old man has never been married. One day, he meets a beautiful 17-year-old girl, and it is love at first sight. They get married and go to Florida for their honeymoon. When they get back, his friend says to him, “So, tell me, how was it?” “Oh, it was beautiful,” says the man. “The…

A blonde wanting to earn extra money decided to do odd jobs for her wealthy neighbors. At the first house, the owner said, “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” “$50” she replies The man agrees and gives her the paint and brushes and goes back in the house. The man’s…

A farmer goes to the bank to ask for a loan. When the loan officer denies him credit the farmer’s dog bites the officer. Then she turns around and bites one of the customers. The loan officer asks the farmer: I understand why your dog bit me. But why did she bite the customer. I…

One day there was a woman who lost her cat named “LOVE.” It was pretty dark outside and she lived in New York. So, thinking that he might be down the street, she put on her house coat and went looking for him. When a police officer stopped to ask what she was doing, They…

A boss says to his secretary we are travelling abroad for the week so make arrangements. The secretary makes call to her husband, “My boss and i will be travelling abroad for some reasons”. The secretary husband makes call to her secret lover my wife is travelling for the weekend so come to my house…

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o’clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. Not a chance,” says the husband, “it is 3 o’clock in the…