A woman has an appointment with her gynecologist, but oversleeps and wakes up 30 minutes before her morning appointment. She has to drop her daughter at school first, so she runs to the bathroom and quickly wipes her neither regions with a flannel lying on the side of the bath and runs out the door….

A bodybuilder takes off his shirt and starts flexing in front of a blonde woman. She exclaims… “Wow, what a great chest you have!” “He says, “Solid dynamite, babe.” He then takes off his pants and the blonde says, “Wow, what massive calves you have!” He flexes his leg muscles and says, “Like I said,…

A young woman visits a florist to get some flowers for her mother. As she’s perusing, she notices the most gorgeous rose she’s ever seen sitting next to the cashier, and asks for its price.”Oh, sorry,” the cashier replies. “That one’s not for sale. I got that as a gift from a fellow florist for…

A man scores a hot date Not wanting to disappoint his date in the bedroom, he goes to the doctor to get his tool enlarged. The doctor says, “we have a new experimental procedure that uses muscle cells from an elephant trunk that should do the trick.” To which the man accepts. Later on, the…

Every spring, as soon as the snows thawed, a certain mountain woman would come down into town, have a baby and gather supplies for the summer. After a few years of this, she looked despairingly at the doctor and said, “Doctor, I don’t know how much more of this I can handle. We got us…

One night after a date, a guy takes his 19 year old girlfriend home. After kissing each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her, “Babe, do you want to, you…

While reading an article about fathers and sons drinking together, I realized that after all this time, I had never taken my son out for a drink. So off we went to our local bar, which was only two blocks from the house. I got him a Budweiser. He didn’t like it, so I drank…

Two nuns are running away from a bear, who is gaining on them. “Do you think we’ll be able to outrun him, Sister?” one of the nuns asks the other. “I don’t have to outrun him, Sister,” said the other nun. “I only have to outrun you.”

A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly. “Quick,” said the woman to her lover, “into the closet!”, and she pushed him into the closet stark undressed. The husband, however, became suspicious and after…

A husband and wife were in the bathroom getting ready for work when the husband looked at his wife and said, “I gotta have you!” He backed her up against the bathroom door, pulled down her underclothes and ravaged her. He knew he was doing great because she screamed and wiggled more than she ever…