A Young beautiful teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz “behind my back I’ve got something red, round and you can eat it. what is it?” she asked. “an apple” replied little Raymond “no,” said the teacher ” it’s a tomato but it shows you are thinking.” “I’ve now got something…

A mother was cleaning her ten year old son’s bedroom one day, when she found an adult bondage magazine under his mattress. She was mortified. She put the dirty magazine back under the mattress, thinking that she would show her husband when he got home from work. A few hours later when he got home,…

A Wife leaves her Cat in the care of the Husband A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind. Before she left, she told him to take extra special care of her beloved cat. The next day she called her husband and asked if the cat was all right. Her husband said, “The cat…

The Dad explains why condoms come in packs of 3, 6 and 12 A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, “What are these, Dad?” To which the man matter-of-factly replies, “Those are called condoms, son. Men use them…

A man and his wife are at a high school reunion. The husband keeps staring at a gorgeous drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby table, glass after glass. His wife turns to him and asks, “Do you know her?” “Yes,” sighs the husband. “She’s my ex-wife.” He explains, “She took to drinking right…

Adam was talking to his friend at the bar, and said,… “I don’t know what to get my wife for her birthday.” “She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I’m stuck.” His friend said, “I have an idea! Why don’t you make up a certificate saying she can…

Two nuns were shopping at a 7-11 store. As they passed by the beer cooler, one nun said to the other, “Wouldn’t a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?” The second nun answered, “Indeed it would, Sister, but I would not feel comfortable buying beer, since I am certain…

The man’s wife was upstairs with the boss doing things she shouldn’t be doing A man goes to a restaurant for dinner. He has a seat at a table and opens a menu to find out that none of the foods have prices next to them. He beckons the waiter over and asks, “How much…

A blonde got caught in a blizzard… It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the little blonde got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home. She sat in her car while it warmed up and…

She explained to her husband that the devil made her buy the sexy dress A pastor was enraged when he found a bill for a $250 dress in his wife’s purse. “How could you do this?” the pastor cried. “You know we’re on an incredibly tight budget!” “I know,” the woman said, “but the devil…