Pinocchio had just finished having s*x with his girlfriend, and he asked her, “So … how was I?” She said, “Well, Pinocchio … I hate to say this, but when we have s*x, you give me splinters.” Pinocchio was devastated. He went running to Gepetto, crying, “My girlfriend says that when we have s*x, I give her splinters! Is there anything you can do?” Gepetto says,”What you need, my boy, is a piece of sandpaper. Use this once a day, and that will solve the problem.” About a month later, Gepetto ran into Pinocchio on the street. “How was that sandpaper I gave you?” He asked. “Are you still having problems with the girls?” “Girls?” Pinocchio asked. “Who needs girls?”