GOSSIP

A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him. She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she turned to him and said, “I hope I haven’t made you feel ill at ease; it’s just that you look…

A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers’ attention, he is yelling, “Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!” The local pastor hears this and asks, “Why are you calling them ‘dam’ fish?” The boy says, “Because I caught these fish at the local dam!” The pastor buys a couple fish, takes…

A blind man decided to visit Texas. When he boarded the plane, he felt the seats and said, “Wow, these seats are big!” The person next to him answered, “Everything is big in Texas.” When he finally landed in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving, he ordered a beer and got a…

A little boy attended his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, “How many women can a man marry?” “Sixteen,” the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly and asked, “How do you know that?” “Easy,” said the boy, “Do the math, like the Bishop said: 4…

A 5-year old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting furniture, he looked up and said, “Grandma, how come you don’t have a boyfriend?” Grandma replied, “Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day…

Marty, the juggler, is driving to his next performance on Highway 277 in Texas. Suddenly he hears police sirens and a moment later the cop in the cruiser signals for him to stop. The cop checks out the inside of the car and asks, “What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?”…

Every time an American Indian of a large tribe walks into the chief’s teepee he sees that the chief is masturbating. They finally realize this is a serious problem, so they fix him up with a nice woman, and she starts living with him in his teepee. One day, one of the tribe walks into…

A man had been in a mental institution for some years. Finally he seemed to have improved to the point where it was thought he might be released. The head of the institution, in a fit of commendable caution, decided, however, to interview him first. “Tell me,” said he, “if we release you, as we…

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, “What are you up to there, Tim?” “My goldfish died,” replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, “And I’ve just buried him.” The neighbor was concerned, “That’s…

Wyatt was inspecting a communications facility in Alaska. Since he had little experience in flying in small planes, he was a bit jittery when they approached a landing strip in a snow-covered area. The pilot descended to just a couple hundred feet, then gunned both engines, climbed, and circled back. While Wyatt’s heart pounded, the passenger beside him seemed calm. “I wonder…