GOSSIP

A little boy attended his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, “How many women can a man marry?” “Sixteen,” the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly and asked, “How do you know that?” “Easy,” said the boy, “Do the math, like the Bishop said: 4…

A 5-year old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting furniture, he looked up and said, “Grandma, how come you don’t have a boyfriend?” Grandma replied, “Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day…

Marty, the juggler, is driving to his next performance on Highway 277 in Texas. Suddenly he hears police sirens and a moment later the cop in the cruiser signals for him to stop. The cop checks out the inside of the car and asks, “What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?”…

Every time an American Indian of a large tribe walks into the chief’s teepee he sees that the chief is masturbating. They finally realize this is a serious problem, so they fix him up with a nice woman, and she starts living with him in his teepee. One day, one of the tribe walks into…

A man had been in a mental institution for some years. Finally he seemed to have improved to the point where it was thought he might be released. The head of the institution, in a fit of commendable caution, decided, however, to interview him first. “Tell me,” said he, “if we release you, as we…

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, “What are you up to there, Tim?” “My goldfish died,” replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, “And I’ve just buried him.” The neighbor was concerned, “That’s…

Wyatt was inspecting a communications facility in Alaska. Since he had little experience in flying in small planes, he was a bit jittery when they approached a landing strip in a snow-covered area. The pilot descended to just a couple hundred feet, then gunned both engines, climbed, and circled back. While Wyatt’s heart pounded, the passenger beside him seemed calm. “I wonder…

A lawyer meets with the family of a recently deceased millionaire for the reading of the will. “To my loving wife, Rose, who always stood by me, I leave the house and $8 million,” the attorney reads. “To my darling daughter, Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave…

A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early. So he arrived home four hours ahead of schedule, at 2 in the morning. Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom and started to climb into bed. Just then, his wife…

Little Freddie is crying and his mother asks him what is the matter. “My turtle is dead mommy,” the little boy, sorrowfully tells his mother, holding the turtle out to her. The mother kisses him on the head, then says, “That’s all right. We’ll wrap him in tissue paper, put him in a little box,…