Joke No 1 : Guy walks into a store…
Guy walks into a store and asks the clerk, “Where’s the alcohol?”
Clerk replies, “I’m sorry, this is a candy store.”
Guy pleads, “Do you have any candy with alcohol in it?”
Clerk walks down an aisle and returns with a bag.
Guy looks at the bag and says, “This isn’t quite what I wanted.”
Clerk replies, “Well, it is liquor-ish…”
Joke No 2 : Guy walks into a store to buy condoms.
Guy walks into a store to buy condoms.
Grabs a pack and asks the clerk “How much are these?”
Clerk says, “$4.50 plus tax.”
Guy says, “Tacks? Don’t they stay on by themselves?”
Joke No 3: A guy walks into a store
He looks at the saleswoman and says: “Good morning, do you have a pu$$y ?”
The same thing happens the 2nd day, the third day and finally the saleswoman tells her husband about it.
Saleswoman: “Honey, I can’t take it anymore! There’s this guy who keeps coming to my store and asking me if I have a pu$$y.”
Husband: “Don’t worry. I will come to your store tomorrow and I will hide behind the counter. If that guy comes again to ask if you have a pu$$y, I’ll take care of him!”
The next day the saleswoman sees the guy aproaching and tells her husband who hides behind the counter.
Guy: “Good morning, do you have a pu$$y ?”
Saleswoman: “Yes I do ? So what ?”
Guy: “So then why does your husband fuck my wife instead of you ?”
Joke No 4 : Guy walks into a store in the US
He says, “I want a high-powered sniper rifle, a scope, a laser sight, and 2000 rounds of ammunition. And I need my anti-psychotics refilled.”
The clerks says, “Whoa! Hold on there, buddy! You can’t just buy drugs without a prescription!”
Joke No 5 : A guy walks into a store and says “I’d like a pound of kielbasa please.”
The clerk looks at him, squints his eyes, and says, “You’re Polish, aren’t cha?”
The man looks surprised and says, “Now how did you know that? Was it because I asked for the national meat of Poland? Or did something else give it away?”
The clerk replies, “It’s because this is a hardware store.”
Joke No 6 : A man walks into store to buy Condoms
A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son.
They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, “What are these, dad?”
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, “Those are called condoms, son.
Men use them to have safe s*x . “Oh, I see,” replied the boy pensively.
“I’ve heard of that in health class at school.”
He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, “Why are there 3 in this package?”
The dad replies, “Those are for high school boys, “Cool” and one for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.” says the boy.
He notices a 6 pack asks, “Then, who are these for?”
Joke No 7: A man walks into a store to buy Polish sausage
A man walks into a store…
He walks up to the counter and says, “I’d like three pounds of Polish sausage, please.”
The clerk replies, “What are you, a fucking polack?”
Incensed, the customer responds, “Oh, so if I wanted Italian sausage would I be a dumb Guinea? Or if I wanted bratwurst would I be a stupid kraut?”
The clerk shakes his head and says, “No, you’re in a hardware store, jerkoff.”
Joke No 8 : A man walks into a store to buy condoms
He notices that there are Olympic condoms on sale. He returns home and tells his wife, “Honey I bought Olympic condoms for us tonight!”
Wife: What’s so special about them.
Husband: Well, there’s a gold one, a silver one and a bronze one.
Wife: Which one are you gonna wear tonight?
Husband: The gold one of course!
Wife: Why don’t you wear the silver one, it would be nice if you came second for a change.
Joke No 9 : A young man goes into a drugstore to buy condoms.
The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
“Well,” he said, “I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight’s “the” night. We’re having dinner with her parents, and then we’re going out. And I’ve got a feeling I’m gonna get lucky after that. Once she’s had me, she’ll want me all the time, so you’d better give me the 12 pack.”
The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parent’s. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.
The girl leans over and says, “You never told me that you were such a religious person.” He leans over to her and whispers, “You never told me that your father is a pharmacist.”
Joke No 10 : Guy comes to drug store to buy condoms.
Guy comes to drug store to buy condoms. -Do you have with strawberry taste?
No
Banana taste?
No
Apple, orange, guava?!?
Look kid, do you wanna fuck or make fruit salad!