YOUR LIFESTYLE MAGZINE
Two elderly grandparents from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree. When one turns to the other and says: “Slim, I’m 83 years old now and, I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age. How do you feel?” Slim says, “I feel just like a newborn…
After a while, One guy looks at the other and says, “I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re from Ireland.” The other guy responds proudly, “Yes, that I am!” The first guy says, “So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be?” The other guy answers, “I’m from Dublin,…
A young guy called tommy bought a horse from a farmer. For $250 and the farmer agreed to deliver the horse to Tommy the following day. The next day though, the farmer turned up at Tommy’s house and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died.” Tommy replied, “Well, then just…
Dave is in the court because of domestic violence. “These papers say you beat your wife with a hammer” says the judge. “Is this true?” “Yes,” says Dave. “Disgusting man ,” says a man in the audience. The judge proceeds. “Then, two weeks later, you beat your wife’s mother with the same hammer. Is this…
I burped a few times and the driver looked at me in his rear view mirror. “It’s £40 if you throw up on my seats.” I burped again. Thankfully; I was able to hold it down until we stopped outside my house. Another enormous burp escaped my lips. The driver assessed me once more and…
An old Italian man goes to church for confession, he starts, “Father forgive me for I have sinned. During the war. I hide a young Jewish girl in my cellar. “That was a wonderful thing you did and needs no forgiveness”, Said the priest. “That’s not all, we struck up a romantic relationship, We made…
Little Willie came home in a sad state. He had a black eye and numerous scratches and contusions, and his clothes were a sight. His mother was horrified at the spectacle presented by her darling. There were tears in her eyes as she addressed him rebukingly: “Oh, Willie, Willie! How often have I told you…
A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife n****ked on the bed, sweating and panting. “What’s up?” he says. “I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he’s dialing, his 4-year-old…
An old man goes to a restaurant and orders a chicken dish. By the time the food is ready and he is about to eat, the waiter comes back and says, ‘ Sir, I’m afraid there has been a mistake. You see, that police officer who is sitting at the next table is a regular…
A neighborhood kid was looking for ways to earn money. He knocked on the door of one house, and when the man answered the boy asked, “Hey mister, got any odd jobs I can do?” The man indeed had a job for the boy to do He handed the boy a can of red paint…