YOUR LIFESTYLE MAGZINE
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge… “I should be in charge,” said the brain , “Because I run all the body’s systems, so without me nothing would happen.” “I should be in charge,” said the blood , “Because I circulate oxygen all…
Jim was annoyed when his blonde wife told him that a car had backed into her, damaging a fender, and that she hadn’t gotten the license number. “What kind of car was he driving?” he asked. “I don’t know,” she said. “I never can tell one car from another.” At that, Jim decided the time…
A farmer and his wife were laying in bed one night. The farmer feeling a little frisky, reaches over and gives his wife’s melons a little feel and says, “Mother, if this could give milk, we could get rid of the cow.” His hand then travels down to her crotch, and he says, “Mother, if…
Little Johnny is sitting in class, the teacher is going over vocabulary words. She asks the class to use a word in a sentence. The teacher says the word is “contagious”. Johnny is waving his arm up and down, no other students have their arm up. The teacher figures there is no way Johnny can…
A married couple were doing their bedtime routine. The man got into the bed and started reading a newspaper, while his wife was standing in front of the mirror, looking at her n@ked body. “Honey, I’m getting old. I have wrinkles in my face, my b**bs are sagging, my thighs are getting big and my…
A business man enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then asks the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes the second one, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket, and asks the…
A man asks his wife, how many times have you cheated on me? His wife answered: 3 times. husband: What? When was the the first time? Do you remember when you were at the beach house with your friend last summer? wife: Yes, I remember. husband: And the second time? wife: That was at the…
Three gay men are at the crematorium. All three are mourning the recent death of their husbands and discussing their plans for scattering the ashes. The first, a pilot, says that he will scatter his husband’s ashes from the sky in the private plane that they built together. The second, a sailor, says that he…
She said yes! As long as I took care of all the details! So I took some odd jobs mowing grass, washing cars, walking dogs all to be able to afford buying the the things I needed to buy! I finally saved up But now I have a new problem… I’ve become so good at…
A Depressed Blonde Guy Walks Into A Bar A Blonde Guy walks into a bar very down on himself. As he walks up to the bar the bartender asks, “what’s the matter?” The Blonde Guy replies, “well I’ve got these two horses (sniff, sniff), and well… I can’t tell them apart. I don’t know if…