YOUR LIFESTYLE MAGZINE
A man returns home early from work one afternoon to find his wife spread out on the bed n@ked, puffing and panting. “What are you doing?” the man inquires. “Err,” she stammers back. “I… um… I think I’m having a heart attack!” “Oh,” cries the gullible husband, “quick, I’ll call an ambulance!” He runs downstairs,…
A woman was with her boyfriend in her bedroom when she heard her husband coming up the front door. In a panic she told her boyfriend “Hurry, stand in the corner and do not move until I tell you to. Just shut your eyes and pretend you’re a statue.” “What’s this, honey?” Her husband asked…
My girlfriend is an alchemist. Last night she drank 8 rum & cokes. Then she vomited 7-up.
Why did the girl mechanic always insist on fixing spark plugs in the dark? Because she wanted to see the sparks fly!
Why did the girl working at the gas station bring a ladder to work? Because she wanted to reach the high octane fuel!
Why did the female sergeant yell “Bingo!” during a battle? Because she finally got five in a row with her enemies!
Why do women make the best rocket scientists? Because they know how to handle thrust and keep things hot and fiery in the cockpit!
Why did the female mechanic break up with her boyfriend? Because he didn’t know how to change a head gasket and she couldn’t handle the constant overheating!
Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head on a man’s p*nis is larger than the shaft. The study took two years and cost over 1.2 million pounds. The study concluded that the reason the head of a man’s penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the man…
A little boy and his friends are being called bastards and bitches by bullies at school. The boy goes home and asks, “Dad, what are bastards and bitches?” And his dad replies, “Bitches are ladies and bastards are gentlemen.” Then the boy goes upstairs to see his mom. As he enters the room, he accidentally…