YOUR LIFESTYLE MAGZINE
A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when he was rudely interupted by a pre-med student. “Why do we have to learn this stuff?” one young man blurted out. “To save lives,” the professor responded before continuing the lecture. A few minutes later the student spoke up again. “So…
It was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty. A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous young Private snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out “Sir, Good Evening, Sir!” The General, out for some relaxation, returned the salute…
Two factory workers are talking. The woman said, “I know how to get some time off from work!” “How?” asked the man. “Watch this,” said the woman. She climbed up to the rafter and hanged upside down. The boss walked in, saw her and said, “What on earth are you doing?” “I’m a lightbulb,” she…
A woman is at home when she hears someone knocking at her door. She goes to the door opens it and sees a man standing there. He asks the lady, “Do you have a Va*ina?” She slams the door in disgust. The next morning she hears a knock at the door, its the same man…
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the priest with an unusual offer. “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor, and obey’ and ‘forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave…
Paddy, the Irish labourer goes to his doctor, “I’m constipated.” he says. The doctor examines him for a few minutes and says, “Lean over the table.” After he does so, the doctor whacks him on his arse with a baseball bat. A loud “CRACK!” is heard, and the doctor sends Paddy to the toilet. After…
An old stockman wanders into an Alice Springs pub. As he sits sipping his beer, a young woman sits next to him. She turns to him and asks, “Are you a real stockman?” He replies, “Well, I’ve spent my entire life in the bush, riding horses, mending fences and herding mobs of cattle, so I…
A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with waning enthusiasm for the sport. “These hills are getting steeper as the years go by,” one complained. “These fairways seem to be getting longer too,” said one of the others. “The sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember them too,” said the third senior….
Tom was in his early 50s, retired and started a second career. However, he just couldn’t seem to get to work on time. Every day he was five, ten or fifteen minutes late. But as he was a good worker and very sharp, the boss was in a quandary about how to deal with it….
A woman finds Aladdin’s magic lamp. She starts rubbing it and a Genie comes out as usual. The woman looks at the Genie and asks him to grant her wishes: She says. “I want my husband to have eyes only for me. I want to be the only one in his life. I want him…