YOUR LIFESTYLE MAGZINE
Johnnie asked for time off because his wife was going to have a baby. The following day, his boss asked him what it was – a boy or a girl. “Too early to say,” said Johnny.” “it’ll be another 9 months before we know the answer to that.”
The 50-year-old woman phoned up her 60-year-old husband. “Darling, it’s a miracle, the doctor says I’m pregnant, isn’t that wonderful? You’re going to be a father.” “That’s great” replied the husband. “By the way, who is this?”
The wife’s mother rushed into the maternity wing to find out how her daughter was progressing. As she entered the waiting room, she spotted her son-in-law. Unbeknown to her, he was listening to the cricket on his IPod. “How’s it going?” she asked anxiously. “Not bad,” he smiled, “they’ve got four out and there’s only…
Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal*Mart when they collide: The first old guy says to the second guy. “Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.” The second old guy says. “That’s OK. It’s a coincidence. I’m looking for my…
A Young Woman was preparing for her Wedding. She asked her Mother to go out and buy a Nice, Long Black Negligee and carefully place it in her Suitcase so it would not Wrinkle. Mom forgot her task, until the last minute, so she dashed out and could only find a Short Pink Nightee. She…
A man runs to the doctor and says, “Doctor, you’ve got to help me. My wife thinks she’s a chicken!” The doctor asks, “How long has she had this condition?” “Two years,” says the man. “Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?” asked the shrink. The man shrugs his…
Dear Son, I’m writing this slow ’cause I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won’t be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived…
One time I got sick and landed in hospital. There was this one particular nurse that just drove me crazy. Every time she came in, she would talk to me like I was a little child. She would say in a very patronizing tone of voice, and how are we doing this morning? Or, are…
A brothel owner, ‘Diamond D,’ began construction on an extension of her building to increase the ever-growing business. In response, the local Baptist Church started a campaign to block the business from expanding — with morning, afternoon, and evening prayer sessions at their church. Work on Diamond D’s progressed right up until the week before…
A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal. illness was determined to prove wrong the saying, “You can’t take it with you.” After much thought and consideration, the old ambulance-chaser finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died. He instructed his wife to…