YOUR LIFESTYLE MAGZINE
A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o’clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. Not a chance,” says the husband, “it is 3 o’clock in the…
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her, “Do you know him?” “Yes”, she sighed. “He’s my old boyfriend.” I understand he took to drinking right after…
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor…
A confused father goes to buy a Barbie Doll for his daughters birthday. The salesperson answers, ‘Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95. Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95. Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95′. The…
An elderly woman wants half a head of lettuce at a grocery store, so she tells the young man at the checkout, “I would like to buy half a head of lettuce.” The young man says, “I’m sorry we only sell whole heads of lettuce.” The old woman says, “Well you see I’m old, and…
A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says: “Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big…
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists…
A mother hears a humming sound from her daughter’s bedroom and walks in. Finding her daughter sitting on the bed using her personal toy she asked, “What are you doing?!” “I’m a 35 year old woman living with my parents. This is the closest I’ll ever get to a husband, ” replies the daughter. The…
A husband exclaims to his wife one day, “Your bum is getting really big. It’s bigger than the BBQ grill!” Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. “What’s wrong?” he asks. She answers, “Do you really think I’m going to fire up this big-a*s…
Two lawyers had been life long friends: they were partners and shared everything, including their hot secretary. One day the secretary announced she was pr*gn*nt. They told her not to worry and assured her that they would pay all medical costs and would act as co-fathers when the child was born and provide all expenses…