A young man was getting ready to graduate college For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer’s showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted. As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car….

A man is driving home one night while very aroused As he is passing a pumpkin patch, he thinks to himself, “Pumpkins are soft and squishy and there’s no one around for miles. He pulls over and pulls out a juicy pumpkin, cuts the appropriate hole in it and begins to slake his desires. Soon…

Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of severe abdominal pains. We rushed to the emergency room, where they gave him a series of tests to determine the source of the pain. My husband decided not to have me call in sick for him until we knew what…

A man gets on a bus and sits next to a lady with a child .. The mother is trying to get her fussy son to breastfeed, she finally gets frustrated and tells the baby, “You better take to the milk, or I’ll give it to this man sitting here… “She tries a few more…

One day, the phone rang, and a little boy answered. “May I speak to your parents?” “They’re busy.” “Oh. Is anybody else there?” “The police.” “Can I speak to them?” “They’re busy.” “Oh. Is anybody else there?” “The firemen.” “Can I speak to them?” “They’re busy.” “So let me get this straight — your parents,…

There was this Asian lady married to an English gentleman and they lived in London. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs….

Bloke is in bed with his wife having sweet time when there’s a knock at the front door It’s 2 a.m and bloke isn’t impressed but the knock is persistent so he goes downstairs. Opening the front door he sees it’s blowing a gale and raining sideways and there’s a man standing there, bedraggled and…

A man returns home early from work one afternoon to find his wife spread out on the bed n@ked, puffing and panting. “What are you doing?” the man inquires. “Err,” she stammers back. “I… um… I think I’m having a heart attack!” “Oh,” cries the gullible husband, “quick, I’ll call an ambulance!” He runs downstairs,…

A woman was with her boyfriend in her bedroom when she heard her husband coming up the front door. In a panic she told her boyfriend “Hurry, stand in the corner and do not move until I tell you to. Just shut your eyes and pretend you’re a statue.” “What’s this, honey?” Her husband asked…