Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up in Jack’s minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night. “I realize it’s…

An old man in Mississippi is sitting on his front porch watching the sun rise. He sees the neighbor’s kid walk by carrying something big under his arm. “Hey boy, whatcha got there?” “Roll of chicken wire.” “What you gonna do with that?” “Gonna catch some chickens.” “You damn fool! You can’t catch chickens with…

A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; the wife preferred to read. One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap. The wife decided to take the boat out. She was not familiar…

College professor is experiencing a “slow-down” in his s*x-life with his wife… … so he is trying to figure out how to spice it up. He is hearing that there is a foreign student who has a lot of luck with girls on the campus so he decides to ask him for advice. “Paolo, how…

A young, extremely perky woman gets into an elevator with an older man… The woman smiles broadly and says, “TGIF”! The man slowly turns to her and deadpans, “S.h.i.t.” The woman, thinking that he didn’t hear her, slowly repeats “T.G.I.F.” He simply responds, “S.h.i.t.”, just as slowly. Exasperated, she laughs and says, “TGIF stands for…

There’s a woman sitting in the vets with her small dog A young girl, with a great Dane comes in and sits beside her As they are waiting they strike up a conversation: The young girl says “What’s he in… The woman replies, “He’s here to get neutered.” The young girl looks shocked and asks,…

A group of drunk, rich blonde sorority girls decide to play Russian Roulette They each put in $50,000 on the condition that anyone who chickens out loses their bet, and the last one still playing keeps the entire pot. Kiersten goes first, puts the gun to her head and pulls the trigger. BLAM!! She drops…

A lady puts an ad in the paper that reads: “Recently single and looking for a man that will not run away, not hit me and treat me right in the bedroom.” One day her door bell rings and there is a man with no arms and no legs at the door. He says: “I…

A man and a woman are sleeping together when suddenly there is a noise in the house, and the woman rolls over and says, “It’s my husband, you have to leave!” The man jumps out of bed, jumps through the window, crawls through the bushes, and out on the street, when he realizes something. He…

The preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used “Forgive Your Enemies” as his subject. After a long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies. About half held up their hands. Not satisfied he harangued for another twenty minutes and repeated his question. This time he received a response of about 80 percent….