A woman ran a red traffic light and crashed into a man’s car. Both of their cars are demolished but amazingly neither of them was hurt. After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said; “Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign…

There was a married couple sleeping and an intruder entered into their house. The intruder put a knife to the neck of the woman and said, “I like to know the names of my victims before I kill them, what is your name?”My name is Elizabeth, but my friends call me Liz,” the woman replied.The…

A blonde is swimming in a river. A man walks up and asks her, “What are you doing in there?” She says, “I’m washing my clothes.” The man asks, “Why don’t you use a washing machine?” The blonde says, “I tried that, but it was too dizzy.

A wife arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing. Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words: “Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving…

A middle-aged couple, with two beautiful daughters, decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. Soon, the wife became pregnant, and, nine months later, delivered a baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son, but was horrified to find an incredibly-ugly baby. He went to…

My wife was dying… I was by her bedside. She said in a tired voice, “There’s something I must confess..” “Shhh.” I said, “There’s nothing to confess, everything’s alright.” “No, I must die in peace… I had sex with your brother, your best friend, his best friend, and your father.” “I know.” I whispered, “That’s…

One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little frisky. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and smiling, he says to her: “Honey, would you take me upstairs?” Long Horrified,…

An old woman walks into a tattoo shop, looks directly at the artist and says “I want to get a tattoo”. The artist hesitantly replies “Well, ok where would you like this tattoo?” Old lady: “actually I want two, one on the inside of my left thigh and one and the inside of my right…

Little Johnny woke up in the middle of the night and went to the bathroom. On the way back to bed, he passed his parents’ room. When he looked in, he noticed the covers bouncing. He called to his dad, “Hey, Dad, what are you doing?” The dad answered, “Playing Cards.” Little Johnny asked, “Who’s…

A one day little Johnny asks his dad if he can take a shower with him. The dad says “yes, but don’t look down.” So the johnny is in the shower with his dad and he looks down and asks what it is. The dad replies it’s a snake. Then he asks if he can…