Homer came home from work one day to find his wife Lisa sitting on the front porch with her bags packed. He asked her where she was going and she replied, “I’m going to Las Vegas.” He questioned her as to why she was going and she told him, “I just found out that I…

A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There, in the outbacks, he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large.” Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the…

At an airline ticket counter, all of the ticket agents were doing their best to politely process each passenger as quickly as they could. A man at the end of the passenger line was impatient and frustrated at having to wait so long in the slow-moving line. He finally decided to march up to the…

A married couple is sleeping soundly. Suddenly the phone rings at 2 o’clock in the morning. The wife picks up the phone, listens for a moment and says, “How should I know, that’s 200 miles from here!” and hangs up. The husband, meanwhile awake, says, “Who was that?” The wife answers, “I don’t know; some woman…

I stood at the altar in front of the couple. I have witnessed many weddings. The dresses, tuxedos, the church decorations, and the food are what most focus on. I was enamoured by the word, …that one word. The one word answer to the question, “…do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded…

A young Scottish lad and lassie were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, and just gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, “A penny for your thoughts, Angus.” “Well, uh, I was thinkin’… perhaps it’s aboot time for a…

As Air Force One arrives at the Heathrow Airport, the US President strides to a warm and dignified reception from the Queen. They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London, where they change to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six proud horses. They then continue towards Buckingham Palace,…

A couple was driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a muddy patch in the road and the car became bogged. After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the lane, driving some oxen before…

Once, an old man was sitting on a bench of a garden with his 25yrs old son. There was a tree beside the bench. Old man saw a bird sitting on the tree. He asked the son- what’s this? Son replied- it’s a crow. The old… man again asked what’s this? Son said- I already…

Mom and her little daughter Maxine are in the kitchen, preparing lunch. Mom is trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rings so she asks Maxine to answer the phone. “It’s the minister, mommy,” announces Maxine to her mother. Then she turns again to the…