Two statisticians were travelling in an airplane from LA to New York. About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced that they had lost an engine, but don’t worry, there are three left. However, instead of 5 hours it would take 7 hours to get to New York. A little later, he announced that…

Years of smoking finally caught up with Kenneth one morning when he keeled over at work, clutching his heart. He was rushed to a nearby hospital and peppered with questions. “Do you smoke?” asked the attending doctor. “No,” Kenneth whispered. “I quit.” “That’s good,” said the doctor approvingly. “When did you quit?” “Around 9:30 this…

One day at school, little Charlie needed to go to the restroom quite urgently. He raised his hand. The strict substitute teacher asked him to say the full alphabet before she would let him go. “But Miss, I am bursting to go,” said Charlie. “You may go, but after you say the full alphabet,” declared…

Coralee was pregnant with her first child, and her husband Floyd was about to leave on a two-week business trip. When Coralee went to her doctor’s appointment, she had some questions. “My husband wants me to ask you something,” Carol began. The doctor interrupted her. “I get asked that question all the time,” he said…

After the birth of their second child, Patrick volunteered to undergo a vasectomy. The morning of his appointment, his wife Claire could tell he was nervous. Then, as he was about to leave for the doctor’s office, he turned to her and said, “I’m certainly wearing the right jeans today.” “Why?” asked Claire. “Are they too loose…

Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things. “Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?” He asked his mother. “He thinks a lot” replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband’s baldness. Or she was until Johnny…

Tyler, who had spent his whole life living in a desert, visits a friend in Phoenix for the first time. He’s never seen a train or the tracks they run on in his entire life. Taking a walk around the area of his friend Jordan’s house, he finds himself standing in the middle of some railroad…

A guy suffering from a miserable cold begs his doctor for relief. The doctor prescribes pills. But after a week, the guy’s still sick. So the doctor gives him a shot. But that doesn’t help his condition either. “Okay, this is what I want you to do,” says the doctor on the guy’s third visit….

One Sunday, Pastor Goodwill told the congregation that the church needed some extra money. He asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate and said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns. After the offering plates were passed, Pastor Goodwill glanced down and noticed…

An air traffic control tower suddenly lost communication with a small twin engine aircraft. A moment later the tower landline rang and was answered by one of the employees. It was the passenger riding with the pilot who lost communication and was calling on a cellular phone. He yelled, “Mayday, mayday! The pilot had an…