A man’s wife had some lab work done by their doctor but couldn’t get in to pick up the results so she asked her husband to stop at the clinic for her. He goes in and tells the receptionist that he’s Mr. Smith and he’s here to pick up his wife’s lab results. The receptionist…

Four Indian men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse approaches the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.” “Isn’t that strange,” answers the man. “I work for M2 Coaches!” A nurse then yells at the second man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!” “That’s…

A young couple were on their honeymoon and were staying at a hotel with a large swimming pool. They decided to go for a swim, and the bride donned a new bikini that she had recently purchased. As she swam and splashed around in the pool, she soon discovered that the bikini was too large,…

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water….

A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says, “Okay, Mrs. Jones, what’s the problem?” The mother says, “It’s my daughter; Cynthia. She keeps getting these… cravings, she’s putting on weight and is sick most mornings”. The doctor gives Cynthia a good examination then turns to the mother and says, “Well, I…

Two men who were waiting at the pearly gates strike up a conversation. “How did you die?” the first man asks the second. “I froze to death,” says the second. “That’s awful,” says the first man. “How does it feel to freeze to death?” “It’s very uncomfortable at first,” says the second man. “You get…

A fiancée, a married woman and a mistress chat about their relationships and decide to make their men marvel about them. They decide that at a certain night they all would wear S&M leather bodices, stiletto heels and an eye mask. After a few days they get together again. The fiancée said, “In the night…

A farmer from the cotton fields of Central Texas dies and goes to hell. Why? Well, only his wife, God and the Devil knows! Once there, the Devil notices that this farmer is not suffering like the rest there are. He checks his gauges and sees that it’s 95 degrees and about 80% humidity. So…

A leper goes to watch a baseball game but when he gets there, he has trouble finding a seat. Because pieces of him are peeling and flaking off, he’s very concerned about grossing out the other fans. The leper wanders through the bleachers looking for a seat where his grotesque appearance won’t disturb anyone. Finally,…

Four old retired guys are walking down a street in London. They turn a corner and see a sign that says, “Old Timers Bar – All drinks 10p.” They look at each other and then go in, thinking, this is too good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across…