Two young, entrepreneurial prostitutes were driving around town. Their car had a sign on top that read: “Two Prostitutes – $50.00.” A police officer, seeing the sign, pulled the ladies over and advised that they would have to remove the sign or go to jail. Right about that time a minivan passed by with a…

The bell rang for school to start and John walked in late. The teacher, Mr. Clark asked, “John, why are you late?” He replied, “I was on Cherry Hill.” Then he sat down. Ten minutes later Nathan walked in late and Mr. Clark repeated, “Why are you late?” Nathan answered, “I was on top of…

A young Naval Officer was in a terrible car accident. Due to the heroics of the hospital staff the only permanent injury was the loss of one ear. Since he wasn’t physically impaired he remained in the military and eventually became an Admiral. However, during his career he was always sensitive about his appearance. One…

Two men who haven’t seen each other for a while meet on the street. One asks the other: “Hi, how are you?” The other one replies: “I’m fine, thanks.” “And how’s your son? Is he still unemployed?” “Yes, he is. But he is meditating now.” “Meditating? What’s that?” “I don’t know. But apparently it’s better…

Albert walks into a bar and sees his friend Norman at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching Norman, he comments, “You look terrible. What’s the problem?” “My mother died in August,” Norman said, “and left me $125,000.” “Gee, that’s tough,” replied Albert. “Then in September,” Norman continued, “my father died, leaving me $900,000.” “Wow. Two…

Bruce, sitting alone in his train compartment on a long journey, suddenly feels a nature call coming on strongly. He jumps up and runs down the corridor to the toilet. Trying frantically to open the door he sees a ragged piece of paper stuck to the unyielding door, informing him that it is ‘Out of…

A lonely 70-year-old widow decided that it was time to marry again. She put an ad in the local newspaper that read: “Husband wanted! Must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me and must still be good in bed. All applicants please apply in person.” The following…

During a visit to her mother, who was in the hospital, Janet popped into the cafeteria for breakfast. She set a piece of bread on the moving toaster rack and waited for it to return golden brown. Instead, it got stuck all the way in the back. When she couldn’t reach it, the woman in line next…

A couple of guys from West Virginia are out in the woods hunting when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, “Bubba is dead! What…

A famed English explorer was invited to a meeting at Oxford University to tell of his adventures in the African jungle. He dives into his speech and challenges his audience by saying, “Can you imagine, a people so primitive that they love to eat the embryo of certain birds, and slices from the belly of…