A woman finds Aladdin’s magic lamp. She starts rubbing it and a Genie comes out as usual. The woman looks at the Genie and asks him to grant her wishes: She says. “I want my husband to have eyes only for me. I want to be the only one in his life. I want him…

Three old men were sitting on a bench when a reporter approached them. “I wonder if you three would be willing to do an interview and tell me your secret to long life,” the reporter asked. The three old men agreed and the reporter asked the first old man his secret to long life. “I…

A thriving baseball club is one of the features of a boy’s organization connected with a prominent church. The team was recently challenged by a rival club. The pastor gave a special contribution of five dollars to the captain, with the direction that the money should be used to buy bats, balls, gloves, or anything…

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps you when you lie. He decides to test it out on his son at supper. Dad says: “Where were you last night?” Son says: “I was at the library.” The robot slaps the son. Son says “OK, I was at a friend’s house.” “Doing what?” asked…

A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the disheveled…

Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson are out on a camping trip. They trudge all day, covering lots of miles. And finally decide, just as dusk is falling, that it’s time to set up camp for a night. They put up their tent, start a fire, cook a simple meal, eat, and both being exhausted from…

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car. Both could barely see over the dashboard. Cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought, “I must be losing my mind. I swear we just went through a red…

A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery: Schwartz had the longest private part he had ever seen!…

A police officer called the station on his radio. “I have an interesting case here. And old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she has just mopped.” “Have you arrested the woman?” “Not yet. The floor’s still wet.” *** Customer: What would you recommend from the menu? Waitress: The beef tongue is…

“Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.” The priest asks, “Is that you, Little Johnny Pagano?” “Yes, Father, it is.” “And who was the girl you were with?” “I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation.” “Well, Johnny, I’m sure to find out her…