A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says: “Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big…

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists…

A mother hears a humming sound from her daughter’s bedroom and walks in. Finding her daughter sitting on the bed using her personal toy she asked, “What are you doing?!” “I’m a 35 year old woman living with my parents. This is the closest I’ll ever get to a husband, ” replies the daughter. The…

A husband exclaims to his wife one day, “Your bum is getting really big. It’s bigger than the BBQ grill!” Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. “What’s wrong?” he asks. She answers, “Do you really think I’m going to fire up this big-a*s…

Two lawyers had been life long friends: they were partners and shared everything, including their hot secretary. One day the secretary announced she was pr*gn*nt. They told her not to worry and assured her that they would pay all medical costs and would act as co-fathers when the child was born and provide all expenses…

A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily. So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game. The senior is tired and just wants…

A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom, then walks out of the store laughing hysterically. The pharmacist thinks this is weird but there are no laws preventing weird people from buying condoms. Who knows, maybe it’s a good thing. The next day, the same man comes back to the store, purchases yet another…

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, “Do you know me?” To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.” Now his mind travels…

A husband and wife decided they needed to use a code to indicate that they wanted to have sex, without letting their children in on it. They decided on the word “typewriter.” One day the husband told his five year old daughter, “Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter.” The child…

A Woman goes to a Psychiatrist and complains: “I don’t want to marry. I am educated, independent, and self-sufficient. I don’t need a husband. But my parents are asking me to marry. What do I do? ”The psychiatrist replied: “YOU, undoubtedly will achieve great things in life. But somethings inevitably will not go the way…