Don Carlos is 90 years old and lives in an old age retirement nursing home. Every night after dinner, he secludes himself at the far-end of the garden. One night, Juanita, 80 years old, approaches him. They start chatting about life and old age, and after a while, he says to her, “You know what…

The madam opened the brothel door in Miami and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties. “May I help you sir?” she asked. The man replied, “I want to see Valerie.” “Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies perhaps you would prefer someone else”, said the…

A Blonde calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started.” Her boyfriend asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?” The blonde says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a rooster.” Her…

As soon as the newlyweds returned from their honeymoon the young bride called her mother, who lived a couple of hours away. “How did everything go?” her mom asked. “Oh, mother,” she began, “The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic, we had a terrific time. But, mother, on our way back, Andy started using really horrible…

The missus came home steaming drunk last night. “You up for some role play action, babe?” She asked with a wink. “Not really.” I replied. “Oh, come on.” She said. “We can act out ANY scene, from ANY film you want.” Walking over to her with a huge smile on my face, I noticed her…

A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests there, she spotted an attractive man standing alone. So she approached him, smiled and said politely, “Hello, my name is Carmen.” “That’s a beautiful name”, he replied, “Is it a family name?” “No”, she replied, “As a matter of fact, I gave it to myself….

St Peter asks these three Nuns a question before they can enter heaven Three nuns are travelling in a bus when it crashes. All of the nuns died instantly, and find themselves standing in front of the Pearly Gates, where St Peter is waiting for them. He said to the nuns, “Before I can let…

Three women friends, one in a casual relationship, one engaged to be married and one a long-time wife, met for drinks after work. The conversation eventually drifted towards how best to spice up their love lives. After much discussion, they decided to surprise their men by engaging in some S&M role playing. The following week…

There is this girl, she is five. She goes spying on her big sister and she hears her cussing out her boyfriend she says, “you mother f*ck!ng @$$h0le!” Just then jill, that’s the little girl, interrupts them talking and blurts out, “Big Sis,what does @$$hole mean? The girl surprised by the question,says, BOYFRIEND! Okay ,…

The man wanted the most expensive lady in the house The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s. “May I help you?” she asked. “I want to see Penny,” the man replied. “Sir, Penny is one of our most expensive ladies….