A young couple move into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging up the washing outside. Wife: “That laundry isn’t very clean; she doesn’t know how to wash correctly Perhaps she needs better laundry detergent.” Her husband looks on, remaining silent. Every time her…

“If you had a dollar,” quizzed the teacher, “and you asked your father for another dollar and fifty cents, how much money would you have?” “One dollar.” answered little Johnny. “You don’t know your basic math.” said the teacher shaking her head, disappointed. Little Johnny shook his head too, “You don’t know my daddy.”

The other day I went over to a nearby Pharmacy. When I got there, I went straight to the back of the Store to where the Pharmacists Counter is located. I took out my little brown bottle along with a teaspoon and laid them both onto the counter. The Pharmacist came over smiled and asked if he…

Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette and continues smoking. Lady 1: What’s that? Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn’t get wet. Lady 1: Where did…

A Travel Agent looked up from his desk to see an old lady and an old gentleman peering in the shop window at the many posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had been having a pretty good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling…

Monday morning in school and teacher is asking her class what they got up to over the weekend. Little Johnny puts his hand up, “Miss, Miss, I went to look on a farm Miss and I saw loads of animals.” The teacher replies, “Oh really Johnny, what animals did you see?” He answers, “There were…

Don Carlos is 90 years old and lives in an old age retirement nursing home. Every night after dinner, he secludes himself at the far-end of the garden. One night, Juanita, 80 years old, approaches him. They start chatting about life and old age, and after a while, he says to her, “You know what…

The madam opened the brothel door in Miami and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties. “May I help you sir?” she asked. The man replied, “I want to see Valerie.” “Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies perhaps you would prefer someone else”, said the…

A Blonde calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started.” Her boyfriend asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?” The blonde says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a rooster.” Her…

As soon as the newlyweds returned from their honeymoon the young bride called her mother, who lived a couple of hours away. “How did everything go?” her mom asked. “Oh, mother,” she began, “The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic, we had a terrific time. But, mother, on our way back, Andy started using really horrible…