A redneck is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says “Ma’am are you aware I could cite you for indecent exposure?” “Why?” asks the redneck. “Because your breast is hanging out” She looks down and says “OH MY GOD! I left the…

Three blondes were applying for the last available position in the Wyoming Sheriff’s Department. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, “So ya’ll want to be a cop, eh?” The blondes all nodded. The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a file folder. Sitting back…

Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other’s health, one asked how the other’s husband was doing. “Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead…

A fifteen year old came home with a Porsche and his parents began to yell and scream, “Where did you get that car?” He calmly told them, “I bought it today.” “With what money!?” demanded his parents. “We know what a Porsche costs.” “Well,” said the boy, “this one cost me fifteen dollars.” The parents…

The census taker knocked on Donna’s door. She answered all his questions except one. She refused to tell him her age. “But everyone tells their age to the census taker,” he said. “Did my next door neighbours, Miss Maisy Hill and Miss Daisy Hill, tell you their ages?” she asked. “Certainly,” he replied. “Well, I’m…

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. My farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I’ve farted at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office. You didn’t know I…

A noted  psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function  where Nancy Pelosi happened to appear. Ms Pelosi  took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and  asked him a question with which he was most at  ease. ‘Would you mind telling me, Doctor,’ she asked,  ‘how you detect a mental deficiency…

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. Operator: ‘Computer assistance; may I help you?’ Caller: ‘Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect ‘ Operator: ‘What sort of trouble?’ Caller: ‘Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.’ Operator: ‘Went away?’ Caller: ‘They disappeared’ Operator: ‘Hmm. So…

Two rednecks decided that they weren’t going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. The first goes in to see the counselor, who tells him to take Math, History, and Logic. “What’s Logic?” the first redneck asks. The professor answers by saying, “Let me give you an example.” “Do…

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, ‘Hello.’ ‘Mrs. Sanders, please.’ ‘Speaking.’ ‘Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband’s doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your…